So I know. I realize it's been a while since my last post. The balancing act sometimes has its own timetable and I have been trying to roll with it. Sometimes up and sometimes down but still rollin!
I can't believe it was 2012 that I published my first book, Not So Black and White! The time has flown!! It's been full and fun, rewarding, and fulfilling.
I've had so many incredible opportunities, a whale's share of personal challenges, and some struggle with regaining my balance through it all. However, being a Libra it is all about finding the balance so that's no new project for me. I go through periods when I question my purpose, my ability, and even my needs. At times it can all lead to a jumbled mess. My father used to always say, "Your work will save you." The older I get, the more relevant and true this becomes. I feel more and more that despite personal things turning upside-down in my life, if I can hook into the work I will find myself back to where I need to be. Perhaps this is working outside in and maybe my way back to balance will change again. In fact, I'm quite sure it will but for now I look to what will pull me back to the table; get me busy with something worthwhile and with a creative challenge that gets me off of myself. And it's interesting how things show up when you allow them/"it" to do so.
I recently heard from my mother. For those who don't know my story, I have been estranged from my mother for most of my life, but every now and then she will make a cameo appearance. I would like to say that these cameos are positive and encouraging but not usually the case. This recent one actually didn't have it's impossible effect on me, but on my eldest daughter. I had not anticipated this. It was very difficult to watch and know: that my mother's disappointing reach now extended to the next generation. But here's where the good part comes in. Out of this emotionally challenging event came an inspiration to do something to counter it all in some way. Enter...next book idea.
Out of the tears was born a project to create with my daughters. A book that we would work on collaboratively and publish together in celebration of our mother/daughter experience. A beautiful book filled with inspiration, empowerment, positive anecdotes, and gorgeous photographs! The idea was actually offered to me, probably a year ago, by my friend Katrina Fontenot. She kept bringing it up and I thought 'yeah, it's interesting' but it didn't really hit me in the right way at that time. Then all of a sudden after the fallout from my mother calling and her effect, it became very clear that now is the time to write that mother/daughter book! And though it is from the perspective (along with my daughter's voices) of a mother who didn't have a mother around (me), the purpose lies in the patterns that have been changed for the better. I get to celebrate what I've done right with my children and share their beautiful spirits with the world!
Currently, I continue to work through some ongoing personal stuff that needs resolution, but I have a stronger conviction that I can get on the other side of it and regain my balance having embraced the new work before me. And what better healing medicine than to create that with my two incredible children!
I am reminded once again that if I hang in there long enough, the balance will find me and the work will lead me home.