Hanging In The Balance...

As much as I feel I'm continuing to learn and grow, I often still fall repeatedly short of feeling as though I am 100% evolving. Why is that? I've come to the conclusion that the balancing act does not disappear, does not get conquered or controlled. I feel that mid-way through, perhaps following the birth of my children, was when I really started to feel the constant pinch of always feeling pulled from all sides, always running out of time, and striving to get ahead. The concept of time didn't really kick in until my 40's, not REALLY. Now I feel two ways: either like a hamster on a wheel or in limbo holding my breath until the next project begins but rarely savoring the snatches of quiet moments in between. This is the new goal. Actually, it's an old one but maybe if I pretend it's new and unchartered territory I'll be more apt to finally and permanently adopt it. How to find the balance? How to achieve a sense of equanimity, equilibrium, and calm in the midst of daily overwhelming information, looming future concerns, and present random BS? The only way I know how to slide over to visit the other side of "balanced" is to steal it, be greedy, and even a bit selfish. When I feel the overwhelm, angst, and stress take over I sometimes have to literally talk to myself aloud. I reassure myself that it will all be alright, that the world will continue spinning even if I choose-for the moment-not to, and that taking pause will only make me and everyone I encounter better for it. With that in mind I stop. I push myself away from the table, grab a jacket and go outside, check myself onto a massage table or shut down my electronics to regain my‚Ķbalance. It isn't an easy task but as necessary (or maybe more so) than staying "plugged in", meeting the deadline or making the bed. Sometimes we have to just stop and put the whole of our lives on a momentary pause. That time-out doesn't have to mean a week or even a year but we can all spare 10-30minutes to just slow down. So while you're setting your standards high to achieve, to get the writing done, make the meeting, and to always turn in nothing but your best work, don't forget yourself. Remember to visit the other side of the balance; to feed your spirit and soul with accountability in showing up for digesting it all, for peace, and for quiet. Demand the time to honor a need for balance in your life. It can only replenish and contribute in the best way to ALL of you. Becoming a monk may not be a part of the path but momentary mindfulness doesn't cost anything but can return with infinitely important dividends. Namaste artists and enjoy the balance!